Here are a few excerpts from real emails I’ve received through my website. Each excerpt below is from a different person (all strangers to me). I get a lot of email like this.
1. Who you think you are? I will guide you where are My family Tombs For sure you dont match our blood type and DNA. I am B++ ++ I know your Type commoners O, I accept Payment for [expletive] My lapel after you go to prison.
2. I found some of the blood of Jesus Christ in my morning today. (This letter was accompanied by a picture of an apparently naked man.)
3. No need to be so snooty… If [princes] are going to continue to have such an ARROGANT attitude, they should not remain in public life, and people such as yourself, only seem, for whatever idiotic reason, to foster that attitude. (This man was angry because I said in the FAQ section of my site that I don’t have Prince William’s email address.)
4. If you are in personal contact with [Prince William] just ask him what he thinks about these accusations that he is the next anti christ… And no i am not a crazy person but if you think that i am there is no persuiding you otherwise.
5. no more partying in south america highways we will design cars that avoid lady d no more paparazzis music controlled (This letter, which went on for hundreds of words with no punctuation, was signed “George Bush.”)
6. Warning…..advantage chips. (No, I don’t know what that means.)
7. Seizure elves will kill you! (This letter said nothing else, but the person who sent it had previously sent another hostile letter. As I recall, she was angry about changes I had made to my website.)
I have a friend who has worked at several online sites, including a royalty site, and he says only the royalty site attracted a lot of weird email. If you’ve ever wondered why I don’t reveal my real name and location to my site’s visitors, this is one reason why.
I’m not trying to make fun of these people, although sometimes I have to laugh to keep from crying. Years ago I received a series of very long, very bizarre emails from a man who signed himself Hel P. Me, and I think people who send this type of email often are looking for help, even if they don’t realize it.
I can’t help, and it bothers me.